Jinha Kim

Have you ever had a heartburn? No, I’m not referring to the terribly painful health condition that’s keeping me up right now (shouldn’t have had that chocolate muffin right before bed).

I’m talking about that fire-in-your-bosom feeling or experience when you fall in love, with someone or something. That excitement, that passion, that overflow of joy with anticipation.

It may be a steady ember or a fireworks of emotions – but whatever its cause and the following array of symptoms, it’s sure to leave you with a lasting impression.

Have you ever had spiritual heartburn? A time when you felt God stirring your heart, whether through an inspiring sermon, stimulating bible study, or a sincere prayer? Perhaps you were on a mountaintop or in a vast desert. A time when you felt the grandiosity of God, or His generosity of grace?

In Luke 24, two individuals experience this kind of heartburn – they are walking to Emmaus, disappointed, discouraged and utterly disheartened after the death of Jesus.

They are so focused on their own sadness from their own dreams deferred that they do not even recognize Jesus when He comes and walks with them. God shields their eyes, too, for various reasons.

But Jesus still walks and talks with them, showing them how their expectations of a Messiah were grounded in selective listening of Scriptures and misguided, earthly ambitions. They wanted a Messiah who would give them political freedom and physical comforts rather than a Messiah who would give them internal freedom and spiritual blessings.

Jesus slowly opens their eyes to the truer, fuller, grander nature and mission of the Messiah by giving them a Bible study ranging from Genesis to Malachi. And as their vision is shifted from focusing on temporary pleasures to eternal promises, they begin to realize that perhaps the Messiah did have to suffer and die – and that perhaps Jesus wasn’t a failure after all! Perhaps He really is God, and He succeeded in providing a way for all people to experience release from guilt, shame, fear, sin, and ultimately, death. Could He really still be alive?!

And so they experience heartburn. Later, after they realize that the person who had been with them all along the way was Jesus (ask me to show you how and why that’s significant – a fascinating bible study!), they said to one another, “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32, NKJV).

Could it be that the reason why we can’t see God is because we, too, are focusing on our own disappointments, caused by misunderstanding of the nature and mission of God? For example, we want and expect God (if He is real) to protect us from harm, provide us good things like family, health, job security, etc. But what if God wants more for us than just gratitude for physical blessings? What if He wants us to fall in love with Him simply for who He is rather than what He can give us?

What if that means that He surprises us with enormous respect, trusting us with the freedom of choice, no matter how difficult the consequences of those choices may be on Him?

What if that means that He waits painfully patiently for us to realize the detrimental effects of selfishness and to accept willingly a lifestyle of Christ-centred and other-centredness that is only possible through God?

What if that means He is willing to risk being misunderstood for the sake of being really known and desired for His whole character, not just the bits and pieces that we like about Him?

What if our own expectations of what it means to follow Jesus need to be broken down? What if that means we may have to go through suffering, failures, and disappointments? After all, that is what Jesus went through – He had to suffer and die before He could resurrect and be our Saviour.

So if we truly want to see God, we need to be open to a paradigm shift; we need to be willing to go back to old passages and see them with new eyes, willing to spend time listening to different ideas, willing to make difficult choices, willing, even, to suffer — willing, in essence, to catch on fire.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

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I recently joined a gym.

I actually went four times in the past seven days, but I hardly got any exercise.  The first time, I forgot my towel and felt paranoid that they would kick me out because they had a huge sign up that said “Towel check week.”  So I left after 20 minutes.

The second time, I couldn’t find my membership card (it was in my jacket pocket but of course I looked in every pocket of my purse and wallet and came up empty) so I went back home and didn’t feel like going back.

The third time, I had an appointment with the fitness trainer so I answered questions about my health, etc. and didn’t get to actually exercise.

I wonder if we ever feel equally unsatisfied after we go to church.

Do we come back home and feel like we hardly connected to God?  That we were at the right place, doing the right things, going through the right motions, but that none of our spiritual muscles were engaged?

Were we anxious the whole time about what others might think of us?

We signed up for the church because we wanted to be spiritually active, but are we getting our money’s worth? (time = money).

What would make our experience at church worthwhile?

Extending the gym analogy, the church could ensure that it provides a safe environment to exercise faith: a space where each person can develop at his or her own pace; a community that provides accountability and encouragement through group activities as well as individual routines; a training ground where professionals model, coach, and challenge members to achieve their goals; a culture where individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, and needs respect each other’s desires to improve and promote wholistic health (spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, and relational).

The right tools should be provided, reviewed, and updated, with clear descriptions and instructions for usage.  There should be a variety of ways people can engage and exercise their spiritual core: the weights of bible studies, the treadmill of service, the pool of prayer relays, small group workouts…  There should even be a cafe of socials and food.

But no matter how well-equipped the church may be, no matter how proficient the trainers and how inspiring the music, you ultimately decide how much you get out of it.

Are you making an effort to be there consistently? Once there, do you just go through the motions or are you really engaging and building your faith muscles through active listening, reflective participation, and genuine dialogue with God and one another? Are you too distracted worrying about what others think of you that you fail to stretch your understanding of God?  Do you come willing and ready to grow?

Perhaps it’s time to renew our commitment.

And as I return to the gym, prepared and determined, this time, I know there will be results.  That faith keeps me going, and although the change may be slow and difficult, I am glad I joined.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

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I forget passwords quite often.  There are just too many websites, cards, and accounts requiring passwords and some are quite picky about what kinds of passwords you can have (capital letters, numbers, special characters, etc.)  My work email requires me to change my password quite often and won’t let me repeat old ones.  It’s quite a challenge trying to think of new variations of familiar phrases.

So I sheepishly click on that link of shame, “Forgot your password?” and go through the tedious process of resetting my password.

But sometimes it’s not so easy.  Bank accounts or other secure data require more hoops to jump through, and I wonder what I was thinking when I chose a security question that has at least a dozen possible answers (my greatest moment: one security question simply said “I am” – “vague and forgetful” was not the answer).

Ah, the good old days when the only password we needed to know was “please.”

“Please” got us through many cheeky requests, siblings’ doors, and family dinners as children.  “Please” was the magic word that moved mountains – or at least, the reluctant parent into getting a pet.

Maybe that’s why we use it so much in prayer. “Please be with us today… please bless the food… please heal this illness.”  We use it like a password to answered prayers; If only we could phrase it correctly, we will access that account in heaven.

But the irony is that the word has been misused and overused so that it is also just tacked on in the beginning of phrases in prayer as space holders.   And rather than adding elements of sincerity and humility, the word just denotes another thoughtless repetition rather than a prayer.

An interesting book Debt: the First 5,000 Years analyzes the usage of “please” and “thank you” in society and comments that those words reflect the “democratization of what was once a habit of feudal deference: the insistence on treating absolutely everyone the way that one used only to have to treat a lord or similar hierarchical superior” (Graeber, p 123).  In other words, the original literal meaning of “please” was “you are under no obligation to do this.”  However, “etiquette largely consists of the exchange of polite fictions… by attaching the word ‘please,’ you are saying that it is not an order. But, in fact, it is” (Graeber, p. 124).

Have our prayers been reduced to formalities that expect answers if expressed with passwords like “please” and “thank you”?   Do we see God as an equal who should respect our rules of etiquette?

What would happen if we self-imposed a temporary ban on the words “please” and “thank you” in our prayers and instead talked to God with genuine desire to build an authentic, transparent, intimate relationship with Him?

What would our prayers sound like then?

I know mine would suddenly focus less on what I want and wanted and more on who I am and He is – and who we are together.  Maybe something like, “Today, I was really impatient and judgmental.  I’m so grateful You don’t treat me the way I sometimes I treat others. How do you love so patiently?   How can I be more like You?”

Perhaps as we truly open up to God as to a friend, the trite, polite “Hi, how are you? I’m fine, thanks, and you? ” talk common with acquaintances would be replaced with the honest, heart-felt, run-on-sentence-y conversations where silences, emotional outbursts, and laughter are acceptable.

Then perhaps when we finally do say, “please,” it will be cried out in hunger for righteousness.  When we finally say, “thank you,” it will be whispered in awe of His grace.

So the forgotten meaning can be retrieved.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

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My father-in-law is here!  He made the long trek from Seattle, WA, USA and has finally lied down to rest after a tedious journey and a hot day.  I remember making that trip myself 18 months ago and am not looking forward to making it again in May, especially with a one-year-old in tow.

But when I asked my father-in-law about the trip and commented on how tired he must be, this is what he said: “Because I was coming to see my son, daughter-in-law and grandson, I didn’t notice anything.  I was just so happy.”

I can just imagine him, at the start of the journey, packing his bags and thinking of meeting his grandson for the first time.  Mid-flight, he was probably picturing the reunion with his son.  As he waited in line at customs maybe he was looking forward to getting to know his daughter-in-law better for the next 9 months.

The journey, however long, can be packed with hope.

Have you seen Shawshank Redemption?  One of the motifs in the film is hope. The protagonist, Andy, says to his fellow inmate friend: “Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”  Without hope, even freedom loses meaning.  At the end of the film (spoiler alert!), Red realizes the truth of the power of hope as he travels in search of his friend: “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.”

Have you ever tried searching for a key word online?  Type “hope” on Biblegateway.com and you’ll find 6 pages of results.  Here are a few of my favorites:

“If You, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared.  I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.  My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning – Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.  O Israel, hope in the Lord; for with the Lord there is mercy, and with Him is abundant redemption. And He shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities” (Psalm 130).

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

“This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!”  The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him.  It is good that one should hope and wait quietly For the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentaions 3:21-26).

 “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.  Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:1-8).

” For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us . . . For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance” (Romans 8:18-25).

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe” (Ephesians 1:17-19).

“For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming?” (1 Thessalonians 2:19).

“The hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised long ages ago” (Titus 1:2).

What or who is your hope? 

If your journey has become mundane, meaningless, or muddled, try hope.

I hope my father-in-law has a good experience living with us in Australia.  I hope to see my family and friends in May.  I hope our church in the city grows by the grace of God.  I hope Micah grows up to be like his Dad. I hope.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

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I am getting to know my internet provider’s customer representatives by name.

Not because I am trying to make new friends, mind you.  I have been calling almost every day for the past week trying to get internet set up at our new place.

After being transferred multiple times and being on the phone for hours, I am beginning to recognize certain voices and names.  Oh, hello again, Christy.  Yes, I’ll hold…

And so I’ve been holding my breath for over a week now waiting for my internet light to flash green.

In the meantime, we’ve been tethering our phones and anxiously watching our usage meter get precariously close to our monthly limit.  I’ve been hunting for McDonalds and other cafes with free wi-fi.

Obviously, we’ve been frustrated.

But oddly, we’ve also been creative.

Roy and I swap our phones when one of us is going out and the other staying in (Roy’s phone tethers better than mine).  I’m using my paper Bible more than Biblegateway (Did you know that most Bibles have a concordance in the back? It’s no Google, but hey, it helps).  I type this blog on Word and then upload it quickly once I connect to the precious internet.  I’m calling people instead of emailing them.

Being disconnected requires searching for ways to connect in alternative ways.

I think we need the same creativity and effort to connect with God.  Not because He is unwilling to draw near, but because we have limited vision and hearing.  The communication lines are often broken on our end.  There are many distractions (not just without, but within, in our own minds), and the noise pollution complicates what could be such a simple conversation with our Friend.

So for those of us who need that re-connection this week, here are some tips:

• Pray out loud – preferably, in a quiet place away from people who will stare at you.  Something about saying it out loud helps us focus on what we’re saying.
• Write it down – for kinesthetic learners like myself, writing a prayer journal helps to better express our thoughts
• Try the ACTS model of prayer:
  • Adoration – praise God for who He is (ex: You are a merciful God!)
  • Confession – ask Him for forgiveness (ex: I was grumpy with the internet provider)
  • Thanksgiving – thank Him for specific things (ex: Thank you that I have this new home and that you’ve filled my life with such abundance that the worst problem right now is the lack of high-speed internet).
  • Supplication – ask God for our daily needs and for others (ex: Please watch over the victims of the bushfires).
• Try one of the 11 Different Ways to Pray shared by PMC which includes prayer walking, group prayer, etc.
• Pray with someone – sharing prayer requests and praying together can help us feel better connected with God.
• Have a special designated time or place for prayer.  Set your phone alarm or have a special quiet spot in the park or garden in your neighborhood.

What have you tried and liked?

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

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