An Unruly Mind
Recently my family was un-invited on a trip at the last minute. It was not a nice experience to say the least. Feelings of betrayal, rejection, anger, and frustration swirled around and formed a volatile cocktail in my head and heart. Although all of these are normal and valid reactions, they were ruining our holiday time.
The rush to make new plans and my three year old’s excitement took over and I started getting excited about our new holiday plans. But on occasion I would be reminded of the sting from recent events and it would cloud my experience. It took some effort to live in the present and revel in the glorious blessing of the here and now.
One of the Desert Fathers, John Damascene, wrote:
“Whether the thoughts trouble us or not is something beyond our doing. But whether they dwell within us or not, that they stir up passions or not, is something which is within our power.”
Negative thoughts can paralyse us.
God had Gideon get rid of all those with negative thoughts out of his army (Judges 7:3). God called out Sarah for her unbelieving thoughts (Gen 18:13). Jesus called out the judgmental thoughts of the Pharisees before he healed the paralytic (Luke 5:22) and the man with the withered hand (Luke 6:8). And right near the beginning, before the first murder, God calls out Cain’s thoughts and warns him: “Why are you angry? … sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” (Gen 4:6)
It wasn’t about ignoring the issue, tramping it down or bottling it up. I had to acknowledge it was there and recognise it for what it was – no more and no less.
Then I had to put it to one side and allow space for the present to occupy the mind. To rule over it, rather than it rule my mind.
I had already missed out on a possibility but if I let the negative thoughts continue to occupy my mind then I would have really missed the reality that was right with me the whole time.
