Happy Birthday to me…
I turned 24 today. That is, as a Christian. I was baptised on Saturday, 2 March 1991, in a very cold tank whose hot water function had unfortunately broken that day. As I entered that baptismal fount, shivering, I remember the pastor gently taking my hand and confiding to me, “It’s cold, isn’t it? I’m cold, too.” Then he baptised me in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and I began my personal relationship with God in a more intentional way than before.
Every year, I celebrate this anniversary and reflect back on how God has led me. I also spend the day asking myself some serious questions – “Have I grown in the past year? Am I more like Jesus? Do I understand God better? How can I grow closer to Him in the new year? How can I serve Him better?”
At the end of the day, I am drawn back to my knees as I confess that I am still so far from being like Jesus. However, I also thank God from the bottom of my heart that yes, I do understand Him better. In the past year, He has shown me new sides of His character.
For example, I have seen Him as a Patient Father. Being a parent of a toddler, I am constantly second-guessing myself and my son – am I disciplining him correctly? Does he even understand me? Am I consistent? Am I too lenient? When I find myself getting frustrated with Micah’s frustration, I wonder how God can be so patient with me. He does not demand full comprehension nor compliance. He simply models what I should do and loves me through it, encouraging or challenging me as needed. I am daily amazed at how much He trusts me – even though I have proven myself untrustworthy. He always believes in me and works with my potential.
In the past year, He has also taught me to rest in Him. Sometimes I can get so wrapped in doing things that I forget to simply abide in Him and enjoy His presence:
“Many, even in their seasons of devotion, fail of receiving the blessing of real communion with God. They are in too great haste. With hurried steps they press through the circle of Christ’s loving presence, pausing perhaps a moment within the sacred precincts, but not waiting for counsel. They have no time to remain with the divine Teacher. With their burdens they return to their work. These workers can never attain the highest success until they learn the secret of strength. They must give themselves time to think, to pray, to wait upon God for a renewal of physical, mental, and spiritual power. They need the uplifting influence of His Spirit. Receiving this, they will be quickened by fresh life. The wearied frame and tired brain will be refreshed, the burdened heart will be lightened. Not a pause for a moment in His presence, but personal contact with Christ, to sit down in companionship with Him–this is our need. Happy will it be for the children of our homes and the students of our schools when parents and teachers shall learn in their own lives the precious experience pictured in these words from the Song of Songs:
“As the apple tree among the trees of the wood,
So is my Beloved among the sons.
I sat down under His shadow with great delight,
And His fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banqueting house,
And His banner over me was love.” Canticles 2:3, 4.
In the new year, I want His banner of love waving over me with great delight. I want to simply enjoy the fact that He is near and that He is good.
In the new year, I also want to recommit to being on God’s side – a young African pastor from Zimbabwe made the following statement that I find very inspiring:
I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power, my die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of Jesus. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor by power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my Guide is reliable, and my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me-my banner will be clear.
I want my banner to be clear, and I want it to be His, not my own insignia of self-motivated second-guessing.
I want to celebrate my spiritual birthday by lifting up this praise:
I have not much to offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come because Your cross
Has placed in me my worthOh, Christ my King of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends to call me friend
Your mercy sets me freeAnd I know I’m weak, I know I’m unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace, because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamedI can’t explain this kind of love
I’m humbled and amazed
That You’d come down from heavens heights
And greet me face to faceAnd I know I’m weak, I know I’m unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace, because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamedHere I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete
Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete…At Your feet
Complete– Jon & Tim Neufeld; Douglas Mckelvey
Thank you, Father, for giving me another year to stand in the power of Your grace.
by: Jinha Kim
"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14