decisions

As a girl I had the wrong ideas of what an ideal man should say or do.  Blame it on the romantic comedies or misguided naiveté, I thought a true guy fought for the girl to the end, even if she pushed him away.

But as I grew into a woman, I realised that a true man is someone who respects the woman’s wishes, even if they are contrary to his desires.  If she says no, he should not push back.  If she is undecided about the relationship, he should step back and give her space to come to her own conclusions without pressure or invasion of boundaries.

That kind of respect requires strength of character – security in himself and God, that whatever happens is not going to be unbearable or unacceptable, but a stepping stone in the bigger picture.  It requires unselfishness and discipline, that he can limit himself from exerting his influence or strength manipulatively to coerce the woman into doing what he wants.

This is what true love looks like.

And the greater the love, the greater the respect – and the greater strength of character, unselfishness, and self-discipline needed to sustain that submission to the other person’s will.

So it is truly amazing that God, who we typically think of submitting to, submits to us and our decisions – even if they’re against His desires.  As much as He yearns for us to love Him back, He constrains Himself from doing too much – for example, I bet He wishes He could answer all our prayer requests – wouldn’t that wow us into worship?  Yet He does not want to manipulate us into wanting Him out of indebtedness alone.  What about if He manifested His glory, visibly and audibly?  Wouldn’t a herald of angels win us over?  But then would our response be infatuation or commitment?

We must seriously consider the fact that God, while being all-powerful, limits Himself and His powers for our sake – so that we can make our decisions without pressure and coercion.  He constrained His powers into the form of a human babe.  He constrained Himself into the life of an itinerant preacher. He constrained Himself on the cross, naked and burdened with the guilt of the world.  It wasn’t the nails that held Him there – it was His great love for us.  He won back our ability to choose.

So once again I fall in love with this True Man – who dies for His bride and submits to her.  And in love, I willingly submit in return.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

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