God

As Water to the Thirsty

in Thoughts  by Jinha Kim 3 comments

I broke out in shingles the day Donald Trump won the U.S. Presidential Election.  As I stared at my computer in disbelief, I felt the rash burning on my back and belly, which had been aching for several days (I had ignored the pain thinking it was just a strain from carrying the boys).

The GP confirmed that I had shingles and told me to “rest.”  As if that were possible with a 3.5-year-old and a 6-month-old!  For the next several days, I struggled to “stay positive” as Joshua refused to take the bottle and I questioned whether taking the anti-viral medication was the best thing to do.  I still had to pump and discard every 3 hours, which meant that the elusive “rest” was even harder to get despite Roy and my friends’ generous help and support.  Even when I could lie down, sleep would not come and the pain and discomfort haunted my dreams.

Reading about shingles on Google only increased my fears and anxiety – what if I developed post-herpetic neuralgia, a complication of shingles that results in chronic pain so bad that some people commit suicide? What if Joshua got chickenpox? What if the rashes spread?

On Monday, I hit a breaking point.  I was too overwhelmed and exhausted. I curled up into a ball (on the side that was rash-free) and cried.

I thought about Job and how my troubles were so light compared to his.  I had friends going through far worse.  I knew that I had so much to be grateful for, and yet – the tears kept flowing.

I prayed and tried to find comfort in the Psalms, a collection of poems that express the gamut of human emotions.

“As the deer pants for streams of water,

So my soul pants for you, my God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food day and night,

While people say to me all day long,

“Where is your God?” Psalm 42:1-3

But the words blurred in my mind as I tried to blink away the fears that filled my heart.

My soul thirsted for peace and comfort.  I wanted God to come and hold me.

You know what?  He didn’t come.

But caring friends delivered delicious food.  Prayers were said on my behalf.  Roy took care of the children and cleaned the kitchen while I took one of the best naps I have had in a long time.

I woke up feeling not only physically improved but emotionally rested and spiritually refreshed.

The rest of Psalm 42 came to my lips as a song:

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God…

By day the Lord directs his love,

at night his song is with me—

a prayer to the God of my life.” Psalm 42:5,8

He had come after all – not like a mighty wind blowing away the tears, nor like a fire burning down the fears, but like a constant friend, a loving partner, and the sweet, healing slumber of a weary soul.

As water to the thirsty,

as beauty to the eyes,

as strength that follows weakness,

as truth instead of lies,

as songtime and springtime

and summertime to be,

so is my Lord,

my living Lord,

so is my Lord to me.

Like calm in place of clamor,

like peace that follows pain,

like meeting after parting,

like sunshine after rain,

like moonlight and starlight

and sunlight on the sea,

so is my Lord,

my living Lord,

so is my Lord to me.

As sleep that follows fever,

as gold instead of grey,

as freedom after bondage,

as sunrise to the day,

as home to the traveler

and all we long to see,

so is my Lord,

my living Lord,

so is my Lord to me.

Words: Timothy Dudley-Smith

 

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

It sounds right

in Thoughts  by Bronwyn 0 comments

I think this sounds right

Have you ever sat a multiple choice test where you weren’t sure of the correct answer? You re-read all the options and then thought, I think ‘C’ sounds most correct.

When I taught English to Cambodian high schoolers I was trying to explain why their sentences were incorrect. Since English is my first language, I speak it fluently but do not always understand why I say things in a certain way. So the best I explanation I could come up with at the time was: ‘it just sounds wrong when you write it this way. This way sounds better.’

Or perhaps you are going somewhere you have been before but you aren’t entirely sure of the way. And as you walk or drive along you think, ‘hmm this way feels right.’

What is it that gives us this impression of ‘right’? And how do we ensure that our impressions actually are correct? So often we put the wrong answer down on a test or we give incorrect grammatical advice or end up lost because our inner sense of right is misplaced.

In the case of the test, if we didn’t learn the material correctly then incorrect options will sound correct to our minds. If I learned to speak English incorrectly then I will likely teach others to speak incorrectly. And depending on how well I know the route to a destination will determine how easily I get there! In each case it is a matter of knowing the right way. To add complexity to this, there are degrees of knowing and with each degree of knowing comes increasing chances of getting it right.

And so it would seem with our life choices – which way seems right? What path feels right to you?

These are often questions we pose to ourselves and to others who are at a crossroads. Should I make this purchase or that? Should I go abroad to gain more experience or stay in my company to gain a promotion? Should I marry this person or keep looking? Should we have children? How should we raise them? The problem is if we don’t have any concept of ‘right’ then really anything could seem or feel right at any given point in time. And we may be faced with the question: ‘do I trust my feelings?’

God provides us with an avenue to know the right way. He illustrates a purpose for our existence through the Bible and in it are visions, mission statements, directions, examples to follow (and not to follow), descriptions, pictures and in some cases, explicit instructions. Just as the textbook and the test questions are not duplicates of each other, so with life the text and the choices given demand an applicable knowledge of one to answer the other. And so the more familiar we are with God and His way, the more correct our feelings about what is the right way will be.

Some people call it ‘feeding on God’s word’, others may call it ‘quiet time’, ‘devotion’ or ‘Bible study’. It doesn’t matter what name you give it, becoming familiar with the Bible is the best way to know God and His thoughts. As Albert Einstein said, ‘I want to know His [God’s] thoughts. The rest are details.’

by: Bronwyn

The Meaning of Misery

in Thoughts  by Jinha Kim 0 comments

I have always loved Les Misérables – after all, I did study French literature.  But I first read it in English long before I could sing “Alouette.”  It was one of my mom’s favourite books so I read it partly out of curiosity, partly out of an ambitious desire to conquer the tome (the unabridged version is 1488 pages long – 202 pages longer than the complete Gutenberg Bible), and partly to understand the meaning of the title.

Les Misérables – a literal translation would be, “The Miserable Ones,” or the “The Wretched Ones.”  Who is Victor Hugo referring to?  Who are the miserable ones?

The most obvious answer is – the poor.  The masses in France that were driven to hunger and poverty during that time lived in a truly wretched reality that unfortunately still plays out in many parts of the world.

But are the rich exempt from misery?  No – heartless, they may be, but happy they are not.

How did Hugo define happiness? “The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves–say rather, loved in spite of ourselves (p. 167).”

Misery, then, is living without that conviction that we are loved just as we are.  It’s the state of constant insecurity, of wanting approval and affirmation from others around us, even those we don’t particularly like or even know.  A mistake, a disappointment, a heartache can make our worlds come crashing down.

The poor and the disenfranchised know what misery feels like.  But so does anyone who has felt truly rejected, betrayed or abandoned.  Or anyone in soul turmoil wondering who we truly are, what we’re all about (like Javert).

It is to us wretched individuals that God says,

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:9-13, NIV).

“Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.  So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.  In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name” (John 16:20-23, NIV).

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NIV).

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair” (Isaiah 61:1-3)

To all of us Les Misérables, Jesus offers the supreme happiness of being loved in spite of ourselves, a love tried and true, a love that overcomes the world and turns our mourning into dancing.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

A True Man

in Thoughts  by Jinha Kim 0 comments

As a girl I had the wrong ideas of what an ideal man should say or do.  Blame it on the romantic comedies or misguided naiveté, I thought a true guy fought for the girl to the end, even if she pushed him away.

But as I grew into a woman, I realised that a true man is someone who respects the woman’s wishes, even if they are contrary to his desires.  If she says no, he should not push back.  If she is undecided about the relationship, he should step back and give her space to come to her own conclusions without pressure or invasion of boundaries.

That kind of respect requires strength of character – security in himself and God, that whatever happens is not going to be unbearable or unacceptable, but a stepping stone in the bigger picture.  It requires unselfishness and discipline, that he can limit himself from exerting his influence or strength manipulatively to coerce the woman into doing what he wants.

This is what true love looks like.

And the greater the love, the greater the respect – and the greater strength of character, unselfishness, and self-discipline needed to sustain that submission to the other person’s will.

So it is truly amazing that God, who we typically think of submitting to, submits to us and our decisions – even if they’re against His desires.  As much as He yearns for us to love Him back, He constrains Himself from doing too much – for example, I bet He wishes He could answer all our prayer requests – wouldn’t that wow us into worship?  Yet He does not want to manipulate us into wanting Him out of indebtedness alone.  What about if He manifested His glory, visibly and audibly?  Wouldn’t a herald of angels win us over?  But then would our response be infatuation or commitment?

We must seriously consider the fact that God, while being all-powerful, limits Himself and His powers for our sake – so that we can make our decisions without pressure and coercion.  He constrained His powers into the form of a human babe.  He constrained Himself into the life of an itinerant preacher. He constrained Himself on the cross, naked and burdened with the guilt of the world.  It wasn’t the nails that held Him there – it was His great love for us.  He won back our ability to choose.

So once again I fall in love with this True Man – who dies for His bride and submits to her.  And in love, I willingly submit in return.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

Forecast: Victory

in Thoughts  by Jinha Kim 1 comments

Eight years is a long time to wait for victory.

I watched the State of Origin game tonight (I feel legitimately Aussie now) and was happy for NSW, who hadn’t won the series in 8 years.

How long are you willing to wait for a win?  How long are you willing to fight?

If it’s worth it, we say, we’re willing to clench our fists and keep running the race, no matter how many times we’re knocked down.

If it’s worth it.

Is God worth it?  

Maybe not.  Perhaps you’re too tired of the same old game of hide-n-seek with God, where it seems you’re always apart – either crouching behind shields of shame and doubt or searching for a Divinity that’s too silent and invisible. Perhaps you’re about to throw in the towel or already given up but just going through the motions in guilt-fuelled denial.

But what if the Israelites had stopped marching around Jericho after six times?  (Joshua 6)

What if Captain Naaman had only washed in the Jordan River six times? (2 Kings 5)

What if you had left Jerusalem before Resurrection morning? (Luke 24)

Imagine this scene: The sky is red – fiery red.  Smoke is still rising from the ashes of the stone altar Elijah had carefully rebuilt from the withered rubbles of Mount Carmel.  The ground is so dry that you can feel the sharp ridges of the cracks on the soles of your feet.  It has been three years since there was any rain.

While the air is still crackling from the fire and drought, Elijah says to Ahab, “There is the sound of a heavy rain.”

Where, Elijah?

There is but the sound of thirsty men panting for relief.

Elijah bends down to the ground and puts his face between his knees.

“Go and look toward the sea,” he tells his servant.

“There is nothing there.”

“Go back and look towards the sea.”

“There is nothing there.”

“Go back and look again.”

“There is nothing there.”

Seven times the servant looks.

Finally, he says, “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.”

Suddenly, the sky grows black, the wind rises, and a heavy rain starts pouring down on the hungry land. (1 Kings 18:41-46)

Perhaps you’ve seen nothing yet.  Perhaps your soul is parched, lonely, and worn… you feel you’ve been fighting giants alone. But don’t give up now.  An outpouring of the Spirit is coming – Habakkuk 2:3  “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”

That revelation of God will not be in the wind, or the earthquake, or the fire, but in the still, small voice that reminds you that you’re not alone; you’re in a team that fights in the multitudes.  (1 Kings 19:11-18) And that team, that God – will be worth struggling for.

So fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith (2 Timothy 4:7).

There is already a cloud in the horizon; God will come and flood our lives with the power of His grace.

by: Jinha Kim

"But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14